Ministering Angels
Thursday, October 27, 2005
You can't cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water...Laurence J. Peter
By Sarita
Honestly....what's with the staring? Perhaps my childhood was so engulfed by girls and girly ways that this is something that I just. can't. grasp. I am the first to admit that I don't understand men. I blame it on the fact that I have lots of sisters, no brothers, and was the biggest homebody ever growing up. My parents thought I didn't have any friends. Which isn't true. I just didn't care about going out on a Friday night. And so I wasn't all that active in my formative dating years. Looking back, I completely sabotaged opportunities to date. Not purposely. It was just my ignorance. What? You want to go get something to eat? And you want me to come? Why?
Anyhow. The staring. Not that I turn every guys head, but their is a sufficient amount of staring to warrant a pattern. I think I have mentioned this before. Over the years, I have learned that this can indicate possible interest, and so I *sigh* make eye contact, smile, etc, etc. And they continue to stare. Sometimes I will even approach them and introduce myself, have a decent getting to know you conversation, even flirt a tad. And then they go back to the staring and pretending that they have never spoken to me before. Is this just all in my head?
What's more is that the starer is more often than not much older than myself (which I kinda understand....creepy, but understandable) or married. Take today for instance. Some men came into my office to fix the over head speakers. One of them was young, attractive, and stared like crazy. I didn't mind so much seeing that I mentioned that he was attractive before. I didn't throw myself at him or anything. But smiled when we made eye contact. Took it as a compliment, etc. Went about my work, he continued his....with the speakers and the staring. And then I saw it. He turns to reach for something with his left hand, and there it is. Un mistakable. A wedding ring. This is a far too common occurrence.
Let me just tell you, I am fully sympathetic to the fact that guys do this. Some may even say it is their nature. And even when spoken for and committed to someone else, they are human and notice other women. But sometimes it is so incessant that I have to wonder.
And while I have always been vaguely aware of and frustrated by this all stare-no action behavior, I wasted not my time considering it. Until this past Sunday. A good friend accompanied me to my ward. And let me premise this by explaining that she is quite the looker. Just a plain attractive person. Slightly better figure than myself as well. I received quite the education walking a few steps behind her down the hall. EVERY guy had their eyes glued to her. I'm talking multiple 180's here. It was blatant. And everyone. I've never seen anything like it. To their credit, a few actually spoke actual words to us. Which was new to me.
So I have been painfully aware of this male tendency ever since, and have noticed a great phenomenon. Maybe I am behind the times, but it seems that all the staring seems to be pointed in the direction of the girls with overprocessed hair, layers of makeup.....the clothes, everything screaming high maintenance. Even from guys that openly profess that they either don't find that attractive or are not looking for that type of girl. And I'm no earthy, all natural girl either. My roommate would probably consider me high maintenance. I would say moderate....so these girls are the real deal. And the men stand and stare, some with gaping mouths, none of them blinking, a few of them drooling.
Color me perplexed.
5 Comments
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at 10/28/2005 5:59 PM
Mikie said... Re: staring:
"Please, PLEASE don't let it be a booger."-
at 10/30/2005 5:58 PM
Susannah said...
I get blatantly stared at by old Latino men and 45-year-old business men with comb-overs.
I'd rather be completely ignored.-
at 10/31/2005 1:00 PM
Sarita said...
Where have you been hanging out because I have the same issue with the....exact...same...men.
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at 11/01/2005 8:57 AM
said... Have you ever tried turning around and staring right back?
I haven't, or at least not often, but some of my more outspoken friends do quite often. And an "Excuse me?" sometimes helps too.-
at 11/13/2005 7:10 PM
said...
Well, there is the whole "guys are more visually oriented" thing. But I don't think that that can fully explain it. Staring is just plain rude, even if it's intended as a compliment.