Ministering Angels

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

To be student, or merely to be single.....

By Sarita

That is the question. So I may be changing wards. This decision was made yesterday. In the bathroom. As my roommate and I prepared for work. We love our ward. Really, it's freaking fantastic. That's our problem. We attend a young single adult ward. Where the average single is 25+ and involved in their careers. There is no dealing with the meat market, because there aren't any guys in our ward. Okay a few, but nobody dates anyhow. It's comfortable. I go to church, feel enlightened. Never make a comment as is usually my nature because the ward is chuck full of highly educated people, and I get intimidated. I leave. Have a few friends. But that's it. And why I love the ward.

So we think that a student ward may force us to be a little more social (we have no friends). And we might not be lost in the sea of the other slightly older return sister missionaries with a little more experience up their sleeves.

I'm dreading it.

Any thoughts? Counsel? YSA wards verus University wards? Pros? Cons? GO!

13comments

13 Comments

at 8/16/2005 2:03 PM  stubz said...

Here's my advice. Don't go to church to meet guys. Go to the ward you're supposed to go to.

 

at 8/16/2005 2:38 PM  Sarita said...

CLARIFICATION: The whole reason I like my ward is because it is completly void of any focus on dating. Which is not my motivation to go to church. I am very comfortable in my current state there. HOWEVER, singles wards are designed in order to foster relationships with peers (ie: other young single adults) romanticly and otherwise-preferably through activities and not during sacrament meeting. I have no social life. I am usually content to immerse myself in work and go home. But think I could benefit from a social life as generally I like people and enjoy myself in social situations. Additionaly, not in all areas, but in mine, I am zoned for two wards. One YSA, one student. As far as I know, there is no rules preventing students from attending YSA wards but you usually must be an enrolled student to attend a university ward. And so I qualify for both. I would not prefer to change wards, but I am somewhat of a masochist-forcing myself to do things that I don't want to but are good for me. The question being, what is best for me at this time.

micahp - Thanks for the concern as to my motives.

 

at 8/16/2005 3:05 PM  Sarita said...

ps....not changing wards to scope out the guys there. Actually, the men in university wards trend to be sometimes much younger than myself and that doesnt create a big pull for me personally. BUT, social opportunities do create more friendships, more social opportunities with these new found friends and sometimes, you might even meet someone of interest. I am single, I should be taking advantage of these social opportunities, no?

 

at 8/16/2005 6:35 PM  Jason King said...

Don't go to church to meet guys

I agree that your entire reason to go to church to meet guys would be unfortunate, but surely, that can one of many valid reasons to attend. Doesn't god want us to find happiness? Isn't finding someone to share life with expand our level of happiness? Then, I think God wouldn't mind.

Besides, why do we go to church in the first place? To establish and solidify the community relationship to christ, right?

Anyway, best of luck Sarita with your new ward wherever it may be.

 

at 8/17/2005 8:31 AM  Anonymous said...

I've spent a lot of time in university wards, and I find that for the most pat they have a certain vitality and vigor and optimism that I really like. The down side is that they have a huge turnover, and that can be frustrating. Why don't you go to the student ward for a couple of months and see what you think, before you do anything permanent with your records? But if you're thinking about it, go now -- student wards are always young, and the longer you wait, the harder you'll find it to fit in.

 

at 8/17/2005 11:23 AM  Sarita said...

Thanks Jas...can I call you Jas? I agree. Dating shouldnt be a distraction from spiritual matters, but I definitely need to do something in order to meet people. Hiding out in my office hasnt proved very successful. And this might ward off the family from grilling me regarding my efforts to "expand my social horizons" for a bit.

And I figure this beats bar hopping to meet men, which just might be my next course of action if this doesnt prove successful. :)

 

at 8/17/2005 12:20 PM  Nemesis said...

I agree with Naomi. A year or so ago I moved and switched from a stake singles ward (which was kind of a sad and dwindling affair, frankly) to a student ward. The student ward is actually made up of mostly 25+ (people who are working on graduate degrees, or just working). I LOVE this ward.

I know this doesn't apply everywhere, but in many student wards there seems to be an excitement for learning that makes classes and gospel discussions much more engaging, regardless of the social life. I'd say try it out and see how you feel.

 

at 8/17/2005 3:32 PM  Katie said...

In my experience, any ward is what you make of it. If you're not able to make friends and feel a part of one ward, I'd be surprised if changing wards will really change anything. (Wow, that sounded like a real downer).

On the other hand, I like student wards becuase it seems like people there are more interested in education which really fits well with my personality.

 

at 8/17/2005 4:51 PM  stubz said...

I think different wards have different feels but a lot of it has to do with our attitude. It only takes one friend to make the experience worthwhile. I was in two different student wards at BYU and the second one was a lot more involved and people were a little more outgoing. That wasn't what made that ward better. I made an attempt to meet just about everyone in the ward. By the end of the first month a girl in the ward (My FHE mom) caught my eye and we dated each other the rest of the semester. I'd say either ward will work but if you can't meet anyone then start knocking doors, I guess. Join a club on campus or a study group I have some single friends. I'll hook you up if you're interested.

 

at 8/17/2005 5:01 PM  Anonymous said...

I do agree that you have some control over your ward experience, but I have still found that I like some wards a lot better than others. I don't think it's that my behavior changes radically from ward to ward, because hey, I'm still me. I think I've just found some of them to be more commpatible.

 

at 8/19/2005 7:44 PM  Joshua said...

I've been attending one of the University student wards in SLC for I guess two-and-a-half years now. I've never really attended a regular singles ward so I can't really compare between the two. I would agree with the above comments to the effect that there is a strong desire to learn and edify in the student ward. The sacrament meeting talks are always stellar and teachers try hard in their lessons. The ward is vibrant, and people seem to be making good friends (not me, though, because I'm socially retarded and I don't go to activities very often). There is a high turnover, but there is also a good base which stays the same. The turnover might be part of what keeps things lively.

Not everyone is a student, by any means. The real requirement for a student ward (at least my student ward) is either that you be a college student or else you enroll in Institute classes.

When I first started attending there I was 23 and a student at the U of U, and I felt like I was much younger than everyone else. A lot of the older people have either gotten married or otherwise moved on, and lots of young people (recent male RMs and 20-yr-old or so girls) have come in, so now at 25 I feel like I have shifted to the middle or even older end of the spectrum. So there is a good mix of all ages, and a mix of people in undergraduate school, graduate school, and graduated and starting their careers, and (in my case) graduated and now trying to figure out what to do with themselves.

There are more sisters than brethren in the ward.

And the bishopbric is great. The pool for leadership in student wards extends over the whole greater SL metropolitan area, so there's no shortage of good leaders for the student wards.


By the way I just found your site and I love the quote at the top. I hope this information is of some use in your decision.

 

at 8/21/2005 6:11 PM  Mikie said...

Yeah, no harm in checking out the other ward before committing to transfer your records there.

I attend the YSA ward. I'm 26. I live with my brother who is 23, and he attends the University ward that we're zoned in. I think he loves his ward but I wonder if I shouldn't be in his ward, heh. He says a lot of the cool girls are older-- like 26 and up, and I don't know if he's intimidated by that or what his deal is but he'd rather date people closer to his age or younger. I guess I'm not social enough to know how old all the girls are in my ward, but I get the impression that they're on the young side for the most part. As far as the guys go there's a mix of students and career type people, but it feels mostly on the young side, I'm not sure how I fit in there socially. I just transferred my records there this year though so I'm going to at least give it a chance for a while. Most of all I enjoy the the atmosphere-- not the socializing but the energy, zeal, and passion I see for the Gospel from other ward members. It's very refreshing compared to a regular family ward.

Good luck-- let us know how the student ward is when you check it out.

 

at 10/14/2005 5:18 PM  Anonymous said...

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