Ministering Angels

"They neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those what are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory."

Monday, March 06, 2006

SME

By Lily T

I recently read a book on dating (a fact I don't necessarily feel comfortable sharing with the general public) which was recommended to me by a fellow singleton. I don't often consult "expert" sources about dating for a number of reasons; generally, it's because I feel most problems, personal or otherwise, are best solved by living and applying principles of the gospel. But this book actually had some good insights, so it kind of changed my mind a bit about self-proclaimed dating Subject Matter Experts.

To be honest, I probably fall into the category of "self-proclaimed expert on dating," but I qualify this statement by saying I'm only an expert inasmuch as the questions at hand apply to me and people like me. Further justification for this title is found by stating I don't consider relationships that end by breaking up to be failures. My definition of successful dating: any relationship that helps me learn more about myself, how I relate to others, and most importantly, my relationship with my Father in Heaven.

This isn't to say I think I have it all figured out (I'm definitely far from that point); my repeated chances to learn lessons through dating pretty much prove that for me, over and over again. But I've learned not to resent these "opportunities" because in the last year I've been given the most poignant lesson of my life thus far: the moment I really accept the pain of an experience (stop kicking against the pricks and trying to find a way "out" of it instead of a way "through" it) is the moment I truly accept the power of the Atonement which changes the pain to sweet joy. I've discovered how to let my heart truly change and become ready to receive whatever blessing is in store. The trust that the pain really is a blessing is what propels me to continue trying with the hope that someday I may actually get it right, and it completely prevents any real bitterness from entering my heart (a pretend bitter diatribe every now and then gets to stay, since they never stop being funny).

Just like anyone who finds something that has improved their life, I find myself wanting to share this truth of "trusting pain" with people around me because I really believe it will help them, too. But I don't usually bring it up, due to my fear of coming across as a pompous know-it-all (with no real credentials to speak of as I am, in fact, still single) and I've found that those still struggling to overcome bitterness about dating and being single usually aren't that receptive to solutions to it.

But once in a while I meet someone who wants to hear what I have to say and after they do, they like it, and then I like it because it makes me feel like maybe I know what I'm talking about after all! So while I still don't claim to be an expert on what other people should do in every situation, I think I am getting better at knowing what I should do and that at least makes my life happier. Maybe just one more year's experience will qualify me to be the official Dating Subject Matter Expert for YSA's everywhere! (I'm kidding)

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1 Comments

at 3/06/2006 2:13 PM Blogger Sarita said...

I currently hold that title. Despite my limited relationship experience. I think it stems from the wealth of rational advice I had recieved from my mother and sisters all my life. And my over all down to earth outlook: otherwise known as sarah is just kinda apathetic and doesnt think some things are worth stressing over. Not to mention that my little sisters friends all seem to be getting married and look to me as the BIG SISTER (so I must know something...really I just fake it).
But no worries, any and all advice is preceded by the disclaimer of "you realize who this is coming from, don't you?" so it's all good. Have a ball you expert you. Isnt that what disclaimers are for anyhow? To rid one of any and all responsibility?

 

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