Ministering Angels

"They neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those what are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory."

Monday, March 13, 2006

point system

By Lily T

I have a friend in my singles ward. We serve in similar areas of the ward and I have a lot of fun with him. We've been out on a couple casual dates, basically just dinner between friends, and yesterday he asked me to dinner this week. I was glad to accept because he's a good friend and a lot of fun. I'm a couple years older than him and but I'm like him as a friend and enjoy hanging out with him.

Anyway, as I was leaving church yesterday, about 45 minutes after our meetings ended, I came out to find him scraping the snow off my car. Call me a sucker for chivalry, but this totally impressed me. On Saturday afternoon it had also snowed. As I was cleaning my car off I remembered a time last year when I was leaving my (at the time) boyfriend's house when it was snowing and he didn't come out into the cold night air to help me clean my car. At the time it didn't bother me, but as I thought about with hindsight, I decided I want to find someone who will do the little things to show me he wants to take care of me.

I think those little things are so important, to give and receive. I'm always sad to hear girls complain about a guy who wants to open their doors, walk them to the door, etc, like the men are somehow taking away their independence or importance by being gentlemen and treating them respectfully. I personally love it when a guy remembers to open my door and does the little things to show me honor and respect. It fosters my respect for him in return. So, while points may not matter in this specific case, my friend totally scored some yesterday afternoon.

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10 Comments

at 3/13/2006 12:54 PM Blogger Sarita said...

I regret to say that I once was one of those girls slghtly annoyed or at least uncomfortable about the whole door opening chivalry thing. I have since seen the light. The little things seriously increases a guys appeal to us ladies, so take notes gentlemen.

 
at 3/14/2006 12:34 PM Anonymous Anonymous said...

I admit that I too was the girl that got a little uncomfortable when a guy would open a door or walk her to the front step. Most of the time I would try and just grit my teeth and bare it but occassionally I would say something stupid that would make the nice boy wonder if he was in the wrong. He wasn't at all! As I have gotten older I have realized that those are the little things that really mean a lot to me. May chivalry live on forever!!!

 
at 3/14/2006 5:55 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Isn't it nice to be at a stage where you look back at where you used to be and where you are now and feel happy you've changed? It always makes me feel so acccomplished and wise.

 
at 3/14/2006 11:25 PM Blogger Machu Picchu said...

what a nice romantic anecdote. if i ever live somewhere there are both a) snow and b) cars again, I'll have to step it up.

 
at 3/14/2006 11:58 PM Blogger fMhLisa said...

My husband is very much like this, he's always doing nice things, and I can honestly say that in 12 years of marriage I've only filled my own gas tank, like, twice.

Have you ever read Hugo's stuff on chivalry and manners and gender. It's very good, makes you think.

 
at 3/15/2006 12:00 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Thanks for the Hugo tip, fmhlisa. It's always good to get a recommendation. Have you read the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands? A very interesting read. Some people hate it, some people love it. I'm the latter.

Machu Pichu, maybe you can find a regional equivalent to scraping off snow from a car. If you were in Peru, for instance, perhaps carrying an extra camelback for her exclusive use up the trail; or if you were in the Amazon, shaking the killer spiders off her mosquito net...the possibilities are endless!

 
at 3/22/2006 8:21 PM Blogger Angie said...

I think it's a matter of thoughtfulness and consideration. I do lots of little things for my husband--like making his lunches for him. I have friends who think it's demeaning to do that. I don't agree at all. And I appreciate the little things he does for me. Service and love--those things are the basis of family.

 
at 4/13/2006 1:15 PM Blogger Katie said...

The little tings make all the difference.

 
at 5/04/2006 3:31 AM Anonymous Anonymous said...

Door opening Quandry: I've long felt that it is important for me to open the doors when I'm on a date. However sometimes it seems awkward. I asked her to let me open the car door for her when we got out. At first it was wonderful; although awkward because I had to ask her to let me do it. After a while it got monotonous; especially because I felt like she really didn't want me to come around and open the door for her. So I'm left wondering if thats a time when chivalry says to go for it and open the door or if I should just settle for opening the doors to the restaurant and when we go back to the car and save opening the car doors when we get out to times when we are at the symphony or something extra special? Any input??

 
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