Ministering Angels

"They neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those what are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory."

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

obligatory valentine's

By Lily T

I'm reading Blink: the Power of Thinking Without Thinking by Malcom Gladwell. It's my current "keep in the car for the random free-time during the day" book and is very good. I just read about the research done on mind-reading through facial expressions (everyone does it), how it's one of our most basic and accurate forms of communication. Among other interesting things about this was research done on how our facial expression can actually create the mood they're expressing, in addition to the mood expressing itself through our face.

So I'm putting it to the test today and creating my best "happiness" face to see if this changes my mood tday, because frankly, I've been dreading Valentine's Day this year. Normally I don't care about it; whether I'm dating someone or not, it's just never been a "holiday" I've bought into. But this year there seems to be something stinging to me about all the happy couples when I'm not currently part of such a couple.

But the happy face is working I think, 'cause I'm not nearly as bitter today as I thought I might be...but that could also be a function of my officemate bringing me a sarcastic valentine with a Reese's peanut butter heart, which I ate for breakfast. And who wouldn't be happy with that kind of start to the day?

So now I'll help my friend buy her new boy a V-Day treat at lunch and maybe stop off at the office down the hal to flirt with the hot, rich guy who offered to take me to San Diego for the weekend to "teach me to surf" (yeah, like I just fell off the boat yesterday). Because it turns out today is really just another day, and isn't so bad after all.

When it comes down to it, even though I'd obviously prefer to be part of a happy couple today, being happily single is better to me right now than dating someone who isn't right for me just because I don't want to be alone. Because if the options around me aren't who I'm looking for, and aren't what I know will make me the happiest, they're not worth exploring further, despite any "electricity" that may exist between me and the options. And it's so nice to have reached the point in my life where I truly feel okay with that.

12comments

12 Comments

at 2/14/2006 12:51 PM Blogger Sarita said...

I feel the same. It dint bug me at all until I went to the store last night and saw EVERYONE and their grandma buying chocolates and flowers and balloons and the sweet middle-aged man in front of me in line buying two red candles, and what were obviously the makings of a dinner for two. I think I don't buy into all that, but it is a reminder of a world to which I do not belong all the same.

 
at 2/14/2006 1:06 PM Anonymous Mary Shanahan said...

Oh, Lily, you're solid. All month I had been making a good strong fearless run at Valentine's Day, but two things happened yesterday, the 13th, to set me back a little.

1. My dad was in town on business, and when I saw him he gave me a V-Day gift of chocolates and a dating self-help book by Dr. Phil. A perfectly sweet gesture on the part of my wonderful dad, but I couldn't get away fast enough, and as soon I had driven out of sight I did the whole tragic self-pity hideous sobbing cry. Although I know it's not his intention AT ALL, my dad's gifts like this always make me feel like I must be the most colossal disappointment to my parents, like they have no idea what to do with a 27-year-old single daughter, and they can only pray that there's advice in some book somewhere that will show me what I'm doing wrong and how to change it. I can't handle looking at the Dr. Phil book. I hid it in my bedroom. Maybe in March I can handle it.

2. My roommate got engaged last night. Which is wonderful and I'm very happy for her, but still ...

Anyway, I'll follow Lily's advice and put on a happy face.

 
at 2/14/2006 1:11 PM Blogger Annie said...

This year is my first Valentine's
Day ever to be dating someone. I am usually single and laughing at the exaggerated sweetness of the day. So, because I am so used to that, I don't know how to be the Valentine Girlfriend. I'm quite uncomfortable with frosting-sick affection and am hoping, hoping, hoping for nothing that could possibly make me gag.
I am still at the point that I think I'd rather be catching a movie with my girlfriends. hmmm...

 
at 2/14/2006 2:22 PM Blogger Sarita said...

Mary, I have been there. And while intentions are good...can we work on the timing people?

 
at 2/14/2006 3:35 PM Blogger Annie said...

mary, yeah, that is the worste v-day gift I've ever heard of. i mean, he at least could have gone the dr. laura route...

 
at 2/14/2006 4:47 PM Anonymous Ryan said...

So, girls, just happened to come across your blog. Pretty cool. Sucks about the self-help book. Before I married my wife, my mom used to give me self-help books for every birthday and Christmas. I actually found Dr. Phil to be very helpful. He has some good points on being realistic.
So, even though I begrudged every one, maybe they helped a bit.

 
at 2/14/2006 6:10 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Sarita-
I was also at the store last night, amidst the barrage of red candy hearts and would have probably felt sadder had I not been making a purchase to complete a v-day prank on a friend of mine...juvenile, I know, but it really did make me feel better. As I told a counselor in my bishopric last week, we don't need reminders we're still single...I can promise that much at least!

 
at 2/14/2006 6:12 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Mary-
I agree with Annie...that is the worst valentine's gift I've ever heard of. Props to you for admitting breaking down into tears. You're 27 as well? Did the line in the latest movie version of "Pride and Prejudice" when Charlotte begins to defend her choice to marry Mr. Collins by starting off with "I'm 27 years old, with no prospects" also strike a chord with you? I laughed, but a little part of me cried inside...but then I laughed again.

 
at 2/14/2006 6:15 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Annie-
Good luck with the transition of Valentine's bystander to Valentine's girlfriend. I feel like offering some sage-like wisdom but I'm probably underqualified. Just please don't do anything cheesey, or don't report back if you do! :)

 
at 2/14/2006 6:17 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Ryan-
Thanks for visiting us, and for admitting you actually read the self-help books your mom gave you in enough detail to know which had the best advice. Takes a big man...no wonder you're married! ha ha!

 
at 2/14/2006 6:19 PM Anonymous Mary said...

27 years old, with no money and no prospects... It's funny because it's true. How does "Mrs. Mary Collins" sound? I think I do know a Mr. Collins I could go for if need be. What would Dr. Phil say, I wonder?

Annie, you're right, Dr. Laura would have been less tragic. Or even Dr. Neil Clark Warren, the eHarmony guy! This book by Dr. Phil, it has this picture of Dr. Phil leaning against a gigantic shiny red HEART. A front view of him and the heart on the front of the book, a back view on the back. It is more than I can bear.

 
at 2/14/2006 6:28 PM Blogger Lily T said...

Mary, that book sounds hideous, burn it! just kidding, but maybe throw away the cover or something? I definitely couldn't handle Dr. Phil with a big red heart lying around my room, no matter how well hidden.
Or maybe you could be the guinea pig and tell us what he says so we wouldn't have to read it ourselves!

 

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