Ministering Angels

"They neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those what are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory."

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

It would be nice to think that since I was 14, times have changed. Relationships have become more sophisticated...

By Sarita

...Females less cruel. Skins thicker. Insects more developed. -Rob Gordan, High Fidelity.



I have recently fallen victim to unjust flack in regards to my dealing with those of the opposite gender. So yeah. There's this guy. (This is all to be read in your most valley girl of accents, so don't disappoint.) And we've never really met. It's the whole he's in my sister's ward far far away where there are not many single LDS prospects and sister thinks of poor Single Sarah every time she sees him...so it's destined to be, right? Not so much.


We've written and even talked, and while I was copecetic to the idea at first, I have come to the realization that we are unbelievably incapatible. He seems to have much going for him, but is way too letter of the law for this gray areaed girl. I mean, he complained about his bishop recommending the PG-13 rated Saints and Soldiers. Bless his little heart. And seems determined to make something happen with me, from several thousand miles away. Not seeing it. ANYWAY. Boy will be in the area this weekend for major family things, wants to drive 2 hours out of his way to take me out. While I am flattered, despite the fact that he's never seen me in person, I don't want him to waste precious family time on lil uninterested me. Sounds fair no? Apparently not.


Why is it that I am getting scorn from all sides? Am I really as cruel as they say? Why is it that I should just "give him a chance"? I think that more cruel. I am all about sincerity, and try to avoid expressing more interest than I feel. Which is why I have way backed off on the emails, along with other correspondence. And today will let him know that he is better off dedicating this trip to the fam. I don't want to be one of THOSE GIRLS guys complain about but apparently I'm screwed either way. I either reject him before there is really anything to reject, or I go out on a date...which indicates the possibility of love, and then sit back and watch the ensuing disappointment/heartbreak. Which sounds more humane? What's the kosher protocol here? And why is it that the more I ignore him, the more persistent he gets?


I thought about just letting him know that I avoid PG-13's as well because I much prefer an R rating and wait while he slowly backs away humming I Am A Child of God with his index fingers formed in an X in the air shielding him from my apparent airborne evil.


Is it so terrible that I find his "righteousness" and extreme dedication to missionary work a turnoff? I require someone more balanced. And am apparently going to hell.

25comments

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

To be student, or merely to be single.....

By Sarita

That is the question. So I may be changing wards. This decision was made yesterday. In the bathroom. As my roommate and I prepared for work. We love our ward. Really, it's freaking fantastic. That's our problem. We attend a young single adult ward. Where the average single is 25+ and involved in their careers. There is no dealing with the meat market, because there aren't any guys in our ward. Okay a few, but nobody dates anyhow. It's comfortable. I go to church, feel enlightened. Never make a comment as is usually my nature because the ward is chuck full of highly educated people, and I get intimidated. I leave. Have a few friends. But that's it. And why I love the ward.


So we think that a student ward may force us to be a little more social (we have no friends). And we might not be lost in the sea of the other slightly older return sister missionaries with a little more experience up their sleeves.


I'm dreading it.


Any thoughts? Counsel? YSA wards verus University wards? Pros? Cons? GO!

13comments

"How well do you and roller skates get along?" and other amusing pick up lines

By Sarita

Yes, I actually got that one. Two points for creativity at the very least. Got to admire a guy (or gal, but not so much in my case, I prefer the guys) who can ask you out or try to create a relationship out of nothing with a little imagination. At least if you crash and burn it makes for a great story. Other's I have received in the past:

"Your parents must have been terrorists because you are the bomb!" (Preceding an invitation to the most frequented strip club in Vegas. I had to decline on that one despite the invitation inducing silent giggles for several days.)


Or there was the cop. A friend of a friend. Friend called Cop regarding a question I had on a traffic citation that I forgot to take care of (long story) and would soon turn into a warrant for my arrest. (I have a dangerous side. Really.) Cop responded by asking friend if I was cute. Friend responded "Very" (kind friend) and Cop said "Well tell her that if she doesn't go out with me......I'll arrest her." Heh.


I really think these are great, but in my experience, the good ones always seem to come from the creepiest of creeps. For example, another friend actually dated Cop for sometime, and he ended up being the biggest of all losers. Not to mention a jerk. And a serious drunkard. So I have become somewhat wary of some invitations. If not all. Let's face it. Who asks me out anymore? If it actually happens, something fishy must be afoot.

That's sad. Don't let that be a deterrent to any of you creative brave souls out there. My sister's marriage is a product of such pick up lines. Her husband upon meeting her for the first time, "I'm going for broke, I'm madly in love with you." Quoting one of the best movies of all time.


At any rate, here comes the call for any and all pickup lines and invitations possibly romantic in nature that are somewhat interesting. (Note: "Do you want to hang out?" Does not count).


AND.....Let's get some feedback on these. Did any of them possibly end well if and when accepted, or are they doomed to be amusing but forever scary sentencing one to duck into the nearest alley if ever the asker were to cross paths with you again?

18comments

Sunday, August 14, 2005

Singles' Blogcall

By Sarita

I've been off on a lovely vacation for the last week, and in tonight's hurried blog checkup, I came across this post by a fellow Single Mormon Female. There are some great thoughts in the post and comments--and if you're looking for another Single's MoBlog to add to your sidebar, this is one of my favorites. Other singles' blogs I check obsessively areheathergirl and, of course, celibate.

Got any favorites of your own to share?

2comments

Thursday, August 04, 2005

DC Follow Up: Nausea-Inducing Email

By Sarita

This email was sent to a ward listserv in D.C. in response to the newspaper story about the D.C. LDS singles ward which we discussed here.

It's worth reading the whole email, but only if you have low blood pressure.

Sitting down? Here goes:


i thought this article TOTALLY SUCKED, and futhermore, it just instills the ideas that may or may nor pre-exist in people's minds in the lds and non-lds culture. it's messed up and stupid, get over the stereotypes and move ON already! if you're not freakin married by 33 then IT'S YOUR FAULT, PERIOD. If you didn't make eternal marriage your focus -oh well, you suffer, too bad.. blah blah... don't go swearing and winning that you are not married because nearly EVERY ONE ON EARTH COULD BE MARRIED IF THEY REALLY REALLY PURSUED IT AND CARED AND PUT FORTH A STRONG EFFORT! too many people in the NOVA and DC area focus too much on their stupid careers and collegiate accomplishments....


what did Richard G. Scott come to talk about about a year or so ago (SPECIFICALLY TARGETTED TO THE DC SINGLES)?.. Eternal Marriage needs to be your #1 focus after your mission (for the fella's) and your #1 focus alongside college (for the ladies).. ---if you heed that counsel there is no way you'll be 30 and over and not married (except for a rare few people who had huge remarkable things that excuse them from that -such as serving your country)! most ladies who are 33 and not married are doing 2 things wrong.. 1) they are completely focusing on everything BUT finding a guy, asking guys out, flirting, looking good for the fellas, whatever it takes to get a chicken boy to notice them and ask 'em out AND/OR 2) they are fat or overweight because they don't make an effort to exercise. shoot i could be 33, not married and fat VERY EASILY, but i KNOW i have to get off my butt, and when i'm not in the office or in a class, or at church activities, go running, be active, do some freakin sit-ups, keep myself healthy, NOT GIVE INTO the "cookies, cookies, brownies, browines, and oreo's oreo's, oh and ice cream ice cream" at EVERY SINGLE FLIPPLIN LDS EVENT! just say no. it'll become a habit and as you eat more healthy, cookies won't be appealing anymore... get over your bad habits, control
them, MAKE yourself pretty for men ... heck, i would rather have a guy who's fit and takes care of himself and has a testimony, then some guy who is supposedly keeping 'all' the commandments, but some how forgets the word of wisdom and is weighing in at 335. C'MON FOLKS... get real! nobody wants to marry someone who they are not physcially attracted to... (perhaps some will, but not many) .. - if you are not attractive, old, and not married CHANGE YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE to become as beautiful as your INSIDE APPEARANCE... PERIOD! If my bishop of my single's ward can run in his first marathon in his 40's then there is NO EXCUSE for anyone else to not be physically active.

THERE YA GO! i'm done. that article sucked, just like the movie "single's ward" which portrays things that needa be fixed as being "cool, normal, and okay" being 33 and not married isn't even normal as a non-LDS person... i am a recruiter for my job and make calls ALL AROUND THE COUNTRY all the time and TONS of men and women around 21-26 are married (some even have kids) -and, yeah, THEY ARE NOT LDS. it is NOT so abnormal to be 22 and happily married w/ kids as mormon culture potrays it to be -in the world outside of mormon culture. -and, mormons out of ALL PEOPLE have AMPLE opportunities to find equal companions on the same page w/ the same goals to be happily married too. ROCK ON TO ALL YOU YOUNG MARRIED COUPLES, AND PROPS TO EVERYONE IN THEIR MID-LATE TWENTIES WHO ARE GETTING HAPPILY HITCHED IN THEIR MATURE PRIME.

anyways... i hope somebody woke up and got a clue from this.. no more wining from people over 30 -there is no excuse (no offense).

-M.H.



Amazing, huh? I didn't really know people thought this silliness.

19comments

Wedding Receptions and Timbuktu: Run, Singles, Run!

By Sarita

I am a Slate addict. Just can't get enough.

This week, the agoraphobic middle-aged Cynthia Barnes is exploring Mali: you know, land of Timbuktu, camel treks through the Sahara, and one of the poorest populations in the world. On attending a wedding in this mostly-Muslim country, she writes:

"There have been a couple of times when I've endured the hell that is a nonalcoholic wedding reception, and they were colorless and constipated affairs."

Ha! I haven't made it to Mali yet, but I have managed to endure dozens of nonalchoholic wedding receptions. If you're a typical Mormon, and went through millions of roommates at BYU, you probably have too. Although "constipated" may be true, I find "colorless" rarely is.

One of the most exciting parts of a Mormon wedding is, of course, being single and fending off inquiries about marital status from strangers and family alike. "So, when will it be your turn?" "Why isn't it you getting married?" and "I have the greatest nephew/old roommate/neighbor's sister's best friend's brother: can't I set you two up?" (Actually, I like this last one. Call me a masochist, but I think blind dates are great.)

Some people ask this question because they really care and don't know how else to express it. Some people ask this question because they don't really care and they're being lazy. Some people ask this question because they're socially inept. What do you say to them?

I mean, what do you, specifically, say to them? I'm not terribly smooth, and so I usually try for a self-deprecating, "Well, the boys just don't want me." People who know me well play it off as a joke, and it embarasses the people too lazy to think of any cliche-free conversation starters. (The socially inept keep forging ahead. "Oh, honey, you're not that bad! I had a friend twenty times uglier/smellier/stupider than you, and she still managed to get married." At this point I find it best to shove my mouth full of after-dinner mints to stop myself from yelling an ancient Bedouin warcry, leaping the table, and throttling the dipstick. By the time I'm done chewing, they've usually moved on to speculating about other guests' marital hangups. Or they offer to set me up with their neighbor's sister's best friend's brother, at which point I swallow my pride and my mints, and graciously accept.)

I have a friend who has started answering the wedding questions with, "I'm lesbian." Another friend starts sobbing wildly about ex-boyfriends. A third friend goes to funerals, tracks down the elderly relatives who ambushed her at weddings, and says, "So when's it going to be your turn?"

OK, I made that last one up. But I think it would be pretty funny.

What are your real (or made-up) responses to the wedding questions?

And next time you go to a Mormon wedding reception, just think of it as expanding your cultural boundaries. Imagine yourself in Timbuktu.

10comments

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

DC Singles! Is This You?

By Sarita

I am late to work again but I wanted to post this story, published over the weekend in a freebie D.C. paper. It's all about single Mormons in D.C., and how they cope in a church that focuses so much on being married. Apparently the reporters went out of their way to take quotes out of context and make people sound much angrier than they were, but I suppose that's only normal.

Anyway. Thought you might be interested.

25comments