Ministering Angels

"They neither marry nor are given in marriage; but are appointed angels in heaven, which angels are ministering servants, to minister for those what are worthy of a far more, and an exceeding, and an eternal weight of glory."

Monday, July 25, 2005

Single? Don't tell your coworkers!

By Sarita

Fox news has an article today about a single 31-year-old in Utah whose co-workers decided it was time he got married--so they put up a billboard soliciting dates. The billboard, pictures of the victim, and his secretly-videotaped reaction can all be seen at www.datelance.com.

Poor Lance ("Utah's most eligible bachelor") is clearly Mormon. He's a returned missionary, "a menace to society," and when he sees the billboard for the first time, his reaction is a Napoleon Dynamitish "Oh my gosh!"

I think my reaction would have been a little stronger. Like a punch in the nose to my interfering coworkers.

Could this happen anywhere but in Utah?

What would you do to your friends if they pulled something like this?

And how did they get Lance to pose for all those dorky pictures?

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Thursday, July 21, 2005

Why Single Can Equal Fantastic

By Sarita

Clearly, Anonymous and I are on the same page, because I couldn't wait to get home from work today to start a post about the perks of singledom.

Anon spent a week in Paris on a last-minute whim. There were no babysitters to enlist, no spousal work schedules to coordinate, no feelings of guilt to haunt her. (Or him. Or it.)

Today I feel like glorying in my singleness because I'm also going on a spontaneous, marvelous trip. Ok, so the Delaware beach isn't quite on par with Paris, but being able to just pick up and go is really cool.

Other things I love about being single:
  • Staying up late reading, without anyone knowing how irresponsible I am.
  • Having a clean room when I feel like it; having a cluttered room when I feel like it.
  • Not feeling responsible for anyone else's happiness.
  • Having sole control of my budget.
  • Indulging in guilt-free spontaneity, like yesterday's splurge on two gorgeous pair of shoes.
The main theme seems to be that being single allows me to be very very selfish when I feel like it. Of course, there are times when I ache for the responsibility of caring for children and husband. There are times when being carefree and ever-flexible is stifling.

But today, I am thrilled to be getting ready for the beach.

Your turn! What do you love about being single? Or miss about being single?

Let the gloating begin.

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Tuesday, July 19, 2005

So, What's New?

By Sarita

I was catching up with people recently, and I noticed that we all seemed to have the same conversation:

Them: "So, what's new?"
Me: "The job's great, I love where I live, and I'm involved in some fun hobbies."
Them: [Waits silently]
Me: "I've been promoted twice, I'm buying a house, and I ran three marathons last week."
Them: [Waits silently]
Me: "I visited Mars yesterday, I've running for Congress, and I recently found the cure for cancer."
Them: [Waits silently]
Me: "OK, fine. You win. No, I'm not dating anybody!"
Them: "Oh, isn't that too bad."

Friends, family--it's all the same. They listen politely to my updates, but what they're really waiting to hear about is my love life.

I'm guilty of this, too. In fact, "so, what's new?" in my conversations with single friends often seems to be code for "any new dating prospects?" or "how's that relationship going?"

Of course I want to know what my cousins, old roommates, and visiting teachers are up to. But when did dating become the only category of news that matters? When did it trump all other aspects of life? When did whole existences get reduced to the stark binary of dating or not dating?

I'm worried about this because I'm scared of internalizing the message that the rest of my life (you know: career, friends, interests, church) is just detritus orbiting around the central, massive fact of my singleness. If I buy into that cosmology and remain single, then I will be hollow and bitter; if I buy into that cosmology and get married, then I will be just as empty and without sense of self. Neither option is really appealing to me. I'd rather be pursuing things I love, developing character, and connecting with people, no matter my dating or marital status.

By making dating the unspoken focus of all catching-up chit-chat, we reinforce other cultural messages shouting that singleness looms larger than all other areas of life. It's also a lazy way to interact with people.

Yes, dating is a big part of the single life. But it's not the only part. And thank goodness for that! I can't control much of my dating life, but I can sure control other areas of my life. So, sometimes, ask me about the places I'm travelling to, ask me about my hardest projects at work, ask me about my beautiful car. Let the dating question fade from the foreground, and look at me.

I'll try and return the favor.

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